It felt like it had come overnight, this terrible infection. We didn’t recognize it as a disease, and by the time we did it was too late.
It started with the bees. The bees were dying and the talking heads could only shout It’s just the wild bees! as though domesticated hives could pick up the slack. Trying to drown out the voices whispering hard truths in their heads. The world was dying, and we couldn’t wash the blood from our hands. Out, out damned spot.
As though the forests would keep breathing and breeding without them.
Now the trees bleed and scream in concert with the winds. The earth powders to dust in your hands. The quickest path to humanity’s heart was through its stomach.
It started with the bees.
Just a quick 120(ish) words for this week’s Friday Fictioneers As usual, criticism and comments are always welcome, let me know what you think!
“Now the trees bleed and scream in concert with the winds”.
I absolutely loved this line! Great work, Chris.
Glad someone could come up with something. That prompt threw me for a loop at first. Great job.
Nice story!
I don’t think the link’s up yet so here’s mine:
http://100words100stories100days.wordpress.com/other-short-stories/the-birthing/
I liked the same line. Great job of conveying the feeling of desolation and loss.
A great story! Excellent job of interpreting a very difficult photo prompt. Wonderful use of language to describe the chaos and pain we inflict on our environment.
Really good, terrific take on the prompt. Some lovely lines in here and that repetition ‘it started with the bees’ was very effective.
Good story and wonderful words–sad message.
Much truth in your little story. This line speaks the loudest to me: “The quickest path to humanity’s heart was through its stomach.” Excellent approach to the pic. Thank you!
Your choice of words and the cadence of their passing made this piece especially moving. it carries far more weight than the word limits would seem to allow. Even as you carefully outline our doom, you mourn for the trees and bees that we ignore. Brilliantly written.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/mcmurdo-countdown-objects-in-mirror/
In the words of Borat, “It’s a very nice!” Great take on the prompt.
A great story.
The end of civilisation started by the bees – always good to have someone to blame.
What’s that line in Signs about when the bees die, mankind only has so long to live? Your piece reminded me of that, and the dangers we ignore in this changing world. I love the last line’s echoes and warning.
I’m over at: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/friday-fiction-torment/
Not Signs, The Happening. Sorry, mixing up my movie trivia there, and the line is “If all the bees die, mankind would have only 4 years to live” – attributed to Einstein (although probably falsely!).
Nice job working a realistic grounding into the Armageddon (with the bees dying). And any time you can reference Shakespeare is alright by me! I really liked the line about “the quickest path to humanity’s heart” – good story!
Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/08/03/the-lifeblood-of-the-paiik-tree/)
shakespere reference – loved this
Thanks Nostradamus. I’m feeling great going into the long weekend
Great story Chris. Dark and ominous with an apocolyptic vibe
Stunning.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/wild-life.html
[...] The Slow Armageddon by ChrisWhiteWrites ~ @chriswhitewrite ~ Science Fiction [...]
As though the forests would keep breathing and breeding without them. So true and very well done.
I am in the list.